I was impactful in my work
for a nonprofit.
Made a small difference in
the lives of many and even
in the lives of some coworkers.

I was generous, gave many
coworkers gifts without
wanting any gifts in return.
Giving was like a spiritual
path to me, receiving was
not.
I wasn’t a receiver.

I was kind and got along
well with my coworkers,
often bringing laughter to
many with my sense of
humor.

After I retired, I thought
I’d hear from some of
my former coworkers.
None bothered.
None cared.
I found that realization
enlightening and
empowering.

Bob Boyd

From a comment related to a
YouTube video about being alone:

@attractivemonkey101
3 weeks ago
It’s not that nobody cares in a cruel way, it’s that everyone is busy being the main character in their own chaos. And once you accept that, you stop living for applause that was never coming. The scary part is you’re alone but the powerful part is you’re free.

You come into this life alone.
You make the major decisions
in your life alone; no matter the
influences, you make the final
decision alone.
Even if you are surrounded by
people, you are still essentially
alone.
Ultimately, you go out of this world
alone.

Bob Boyd

In a way I admire the Jains, the Hindus who try not to harm
any living creatures.

I wish all living creatures could be like that instead of killing
and eating other living creatures,

instead of the carnage all over this world and even in
the cosmos.

I often wonder if there’s a God of Love, why did that God
create a world with so much killing in it?

Bob Boyd

An Old Woman Just Waiting to Die

An 83-year-old woman said she was just waiting to die.

As an old man a little younger than her, I can understand her feeling that way.

She’s probably all alone with no significant other and maybe no longer has any friends.

Her significant other, if she had one—like a husband—probably died some time ago.

And her life is no longer filled with much fun, and maybe she has health problems

that are slowly killing her. Knowing that those health problems will possibly cause suffering

as she grows older, death could seem preferable to the quality of her life diminishing unbearably.

Bob Boyd

I had a pleasant dream about an attractive, young,
blonde-haired woman.

In the dream I was liking her, and I think she
was liking me.

She caught me taking a long look at her
and took a long look at me.

Other details escape me, but I know the
vibes were good.

I found out she walked a long distance
home by herself.

Worried for her safety, I asked her if I
could walk her home.

Before I got an answer, I woke up and
realized the woman was a woman I had known

and worked with twenty years ago, and
that she would no longer be a young woman .

So in a way it was like a time travel dream
of a woman I knew when she was young.

And surely illusionary as well.

Bob Boyd

He liked her look and wanted her for his next victim.
She was easy prey, living remotely in a cabin
by herself, far from any neighbors.
He’d been watching her and knew
when she went to work,
when she came home, when she slept.
He planned his break-in 2 hours after
she turned out her lights, and she’d be asleep.
Adept at breaking quietly into houses, he easily
picked the lock on her back door and crept in.
When he reached her bedroom, she wasn’t there.
Baffled, he looked around for her and tiptoed to her
bedroom closet.
He screamed the last scream of his life,
as she plunged a knife into his heart.
A better predator than he was, she caught him
in her trap.

Bob Boyd

Occasionally, I read about people
who believe in fairies, which seems
fanciful to me.

I don’t believe in things like fairies,
but maybe somehow a collective
belief manifests them.

Perhaps a collective belief somewhere
like Ireland is so powerful that it
can manifest them to some

people more mystical or more
sensitive to things most cannot see,
people like me who don’t believe.

Bob Boyd

I walk to my car and spy a rabbit standing
about 15 feet away from me.
He seems like he’s not going to run away,
most unusual behavior for a rabbit.
For a wishful moment, I feel as if I can
befriend him, perhaps even pet him.
But, alas, with a few steps closer,
he speeds away like a rocket.
Maybe some day I’ll have better
luck in befriending him.

Bob Boyd

Some have become exorbitant for tech that
doesn’t last for many years.

I’ve seen prices higher than 3k.

What’s a buyer with limited funds
on a fixed income to do?

Buy on credit with monthly payments
for about a year,

or take a chance paying less for
a refurbished one

that might be a steal for you or the seller.

I’m gambling on a refurb for now.

If it doesn’t work out, I’ll go in debt
for an overpriced, new one

rather than deplete some of my savings
but, damn, how I miss the days

when computers were more affordable.

Bob Boyd

I spy an ant creeping along the floor
trying to be like a ninja.
Unknown to him, I’m onto his game.
I see he’s a scout, his mission
find or make cracks in my food storage.
He’s sly and formidable, but no match
for me.
I whip a can of ant spray out of my
cowboy like holster, spin it in the air,
tell the ant I’m his huckleberry,
and blast him into wherever ants
go when they die.
I spin the can of ant spray in the air
again and whip it back into my cowboy
like holster with a resounding snap.
Mission accomplished. Yeehaw!

Bob Boyd