The group saw the UFOs glittering in the sky
they cheered and yelled hello hello hello
the UFOs flashed green lights at the group
incinerating them into ashes upon the ground

Bob Boyd

I hear the werewolf’s howls coming closer to me
I hope I’m safe in my home with the doors barred
in case my home is not werewolf-proofed enough
I have holy water and wolfsbane just in case

Bob Boyd

As a teenager I worked in a greenhouse
with a younger Puerto Rican kid who believed in diablo
I didn’t; he said go in the woods at night and call him
he got the best of me, no way was I going to tempt fate

When a man is looking for the perfect
woman for him,

she does not exist.

He may get lucky and find one that
comes close,

but she will not be the perfect one.

Likewise with the perfect man for
a woman,

he doesn’t exist either.

Best you can do, man or woman, is find
a good one,

and hope she or he is perfect in loving you.

Bob Boyd

About 16 years ago, I read I’d be better
off with a foreign wife.

The article said forget about American
women; they’re not worth it anymore.

So I went on a quest to find a foreign wife
and found one in the Philippines.

She was absolutely beautiful and spoke
English quite well.

She waited online for me for two years, a
rare thing for a long distance relationship.

I moved to the Philippines, and we got married
in a church there.

For four years things went reasonably well,
felt my gamble with a foreign wife paid off.

I brought her to the US, and I encouraged her
to find Filipina female friends to not be isolated.

A year later the marriage fell apart; she spent
more time with her friends than with me,

and she wanted a guy who could take her on
expensive trips all the time.

Then she left despite all that I had done for her
and a son she had that died at age 5.

Lesson learned, whether homegrown or foreign,
women are women and never any guarantees.

Now, an old man, I live alone womanless, and I’ll
probably be womanless till the day I die.

Bob Boyd

Imagine if all these alleged cryptids sightings,
Bigfoot, Dogman, Jersey Devil, et al

were creations by aliens set periodically
upon this planet.

Sure it’s a bizarre idea, but imagine if it
were true.

To venture further into the absurd, imagine
if cryptids were toys alien kids played with.

One reason I bring this implausible theory up
is that UFOs are often connected with Bigfoot.

This makes me seriously wonder if there is
an alien connection – at least with Bigfoot.

Bob Boyd

A woman in Texas says she has seen Bigfoot, and that he made birdlike sounds trying to talk to her.

She said she felt he was making overtures to her, and didn’t try to communicate with him.

So she left him scared, and later that day gave him an offering, a fresh baked pie she put outside her house.

She believes he accepted the offering and ate the pie, and she has put other food outside for him since then.

She has an adult son who lives with her and claims he has heard Bigfoot near her house many times.

Both of them were on Art Bell years ago telling their Bigfoot tales, and most of the callers believed them.

I don’t know what to say about it except that the tales were compelling and the woman seemed genuine.

Bob Boyd

You can have the outdoorsy woman
I want a settled down indoorsy one
while an outdoorsy woman is roaming
my indoorsy one will be loving me

Bob Boyd

I met a lovely woman in a dream last night
being with her was feeling good and right
but before things developed into a romance
I woke up and knew I’d never see her again

Bob Boyd

Simon’s mother always said to him
don’t count your chickens before they hatch
but since he didn’t have any chickens
he never paid any attention to her

Bob Boyd